Your Bookmarks are probably filled with blog addresses of mine. But I’ve moved, again! : )

http://gaietea.blogspot.com/

I finally settled on Blogspot. The layouts aren’t automatically lovely but I can make them work. My Tumblr address is also now http://gaietea.tumblr.com/.

Same things. Just new address. See you there!

người là ước mơ thôi
thức giấc bên em trên ngôi đôi ta nhìn nhau không nói
-em là tất cả

Not that I have been keeping up regularly with this blog, but for sure I will be MIA for the next few days, weeks. I have a Studies paper due two Thursdays ago, another Studies paper due this Thursday, and a Term Research Paper for Art and Society also due this Thursday…none of which I have begun. Along with that, all the Japanese studying and what not. Then Friday and Saturday I get to relax a bit and clean up the place, then Sunday, big things happen! Now off to bed. Have to get some rest before my attempts to pull the aforementioned papers out of my…well, you know what.

Good night!

với những si mê khôn nguôi như buông vào tim.
trong đáy tim…anh yêu em
-em là tất cả

Sunset in Izumi-City.

với những ngôi sao trên cao lung linh về đêm
như nói lên em vừa yêu
-em là tất cả

A trip to Ninja Village and then to Raccoon Village with the International Center.

I can never capture rain very well.

I began the painting with just the house. Then I drew in all the land and sea with swirls. But you know me, I love to paint! So I just filled everything in. Haha. Couldn’t help it.

Wanna see something cool??

WAABAMM!

Haha.

người là ước mơ thôi
chớ đắn đo hay âu lo nhân gian đổi thay vì có tôi đây
-em là tất cả

I am in the process of looking for a new home. A new home for my writing, that is. As you all might’ve heard before, I absolutely abhor all of the themes available for WordPress, they don’t fit me at all. I contemplated long and hard about going back to Blogger, multiple times, but always stuck it through. Well, now a lot of the WordPress themes aren’t allowing me to space my pictures correctly, which might seem like a relatively unimportant issue but, to me it matters. I’ve already made a Blogger and exported everything from here to there, but there’s just something about Blogger. I’m not completely happy with it. My favorite place to blog nowadays is Tumblr, but I’m wary about the size of my posts and the html functionality (or lack thereof). Anyway, this was just a brief update. Stay tuned. As I’ve said, I’m supposed to be working on my term papers right now (it’s due on Thursday! AH!) and so…dammit I just messed up my nails….And so, if all goes well I’ll be able to take my mind off blogging and write my papers, and therefore a decision won’t be made until the next week or so. But just a heads up! Man I really messed up my nails. MAN!

lung lo ngan troi
- la xanh mua he

A few Wednesdays ago my Buddy and her friend came over to my apartment. I didn’t know why she chose that date but found out later from her friend that it was her Birthday that day! So we turned the party into a surprise birthday party. Literally I ran over to my neighbor’s, was like, Did you know today is Yuko’s Birthday?! And she was like, yea. And I was like, How’d you know?! I didn’t know! And she was like, Facebook! And I was like…Freak! And that’s why I’m on Facebook again, not that anyone noticed I was off for a bit. Lolz. Getting back on FB also means I lost a bet with Reed but I don’t care. I’m the dominant one in our relationship. Anyway, I digress. I convinced my neighbor to bike to the grocery store and get my buddy a cake or pie or something while I pretended like this was planned all along. Haha, yay. Anyway, it turned out pretty well.

We had a Spring Roll party. I bought and prepared all the ingredients. People were supposed to pay me but only a few people did. Next time I’m demanding money first. Lolz.

Haha. It turned out relatively well! I hoped!

People really liked the dipping sauce I made for the Spring Rolls, which is the most important part, of course, so I’m glad. Everything wasn’t hard to prepare, so I might do it again. Next time I’ll know better how much of each ingredient to get—less veggies, more meat. Haha!

phuong tuoi tham mau
-la xanh mua he

A few weeks ago a friend and I made another trip out to Kyoto. We went to Byoudo-in, which I had really been insistent about, and some other places that I can’t name…because I’ve forgotten. Byoudo-in turned out to be less cool than I thought it would be, but it was still very, very pretty.

–On the way there.–

As I said, very scenic, very beautiful.

After Byoudo-in we headed to our next destination. On the way there we happened upon this cute little shop that sold really adorable things for relatively cheap, so I bought a bunch. HA! ‘Tis me. This guy owned the place. He ‘checked out’ with an abacus! How can you not buy from a man who uses an abacus?!

The next place we went to. We went there specifically because our teacher in Art and Society said that there were rock gardens here designed by Shigemori. So, why not? We paid and went to one part, then found out as we were leaving that the gardens by Shigemori were actually in another part of the place, so we thought, might as well we’re already here, and ended up paying to go to the other part. Glad we did. I never thought rock gardens were so interesting!

Lastly, we went to the Tori gates place. Idk what it’s really called. Basically families pay to put up these tori gates for good luck, or something. We didn’t walk the whole way up the mountain. I’m not much of a hiker, HA!

Walking under all the Tori gates also made me feel a little claustrophobic but that’s just cuz I’m a wimp.

This was probably the last time I make an all day trip out to Kyoto. The place has a lot of things to see, but after a few of the big sites, everything gets a little repetitive.

I’ve enjoyed, pretty much, each time I’ve been out to Kyoto though. It was worth the 2 hour train trip each way and the approximately $25 in train fare. Haha.

that i was so yours for the taking
i’m so yours for the taking and
that’s when i felt the wind pick up
i grab the rail while choking up
these words to say and then you kissed me
i knew it from the start
– 18th floor balcony

Is it just me, or do the Pokemon get uglier by the region?……..Yea Nhu-Y, that’s not at all a nerdy ass question. I mean….take Shiftry for example. That is one ugly ass Pokemon. I mean, even the ghost type Pokemon from the first seasons, Haunter and Ghastly, they were cute! Shiftry is just ugly! And kinda scary! Plusle and Minun are kind cute though, but only because they look like bigger versions of Pichu.

You know what is another indication of my insanity? The fact that I have been obsessed with a singer for the past few days. Like, he’s cute, truth be told. But he’s not like….Daniel Henney (OMG DANIEL HENNEY!), he’s just this kinda cute guy who plays piano and guitar and sings. So I spent the weekend (when I wasn’t running around Ninja Village) playing his performances on Youtube. And it wasn’t like I sat there in front of the screen and watched him. Most of the time I was doing other things or walking around my room or had another window open over the Youtube window. So it’s not like he’s gorgeous or whatever, it depends. I don’t so much like his still photos, I like his performances. And, his story tugs at me. Have you ever met a person who’s been so broken you just want to fix them? It’s the ego in me talking. Like, really? YOU want to FIX somebody? Have you looked at yourself lately?

I am probably one of the most effed up screwed up most unstable person I know. And will ever know. And there I go wanting to fix a broken heart.

Maybe I don’t even need to fix it. Because dudes…..he is fine. Like, he is CUTEEEEEE and talented, I’m sure there have been plenty of girls after the one who messed him up, that have tried to help him. I’m sure he doesn’t need help! But you know, I can’t help the calling. HA! I kinda just wanna fly over to California and stalk him ’till I meet him, and then be friends with him and then be like, I’m cool. Lean on me. Yea. Like, we don’t even have to be lovers, just be my friend, I’ll show you how cool people are.

I hate Youtube. HAHA! It showed me that a video “related” to the one of him performing was one of him being interviewed by Kristine Sa on her Heart2Heart show. And I thought, Oh I’ll watch this and I’ll realize how perfect he is not and I won’t be so obsessed. Well. I realized how perfect he is not. And now I want to transport myself to California and assure him that it’s all OK. Like. Wtf?

God, I really am kinda screwey.

This has been one crazy post. I’m sorry normal people who are reading this. Haha, I’m rereading this and laughing to myself. It’s not substantial enough to calm me down, I’ll probably make up stories about him in my mind for nights to come but, at least it’s all out there. I’M CRAZY. There. Said and done.

—edit—-

He’s on FB. I want to add him. BUT WHY? WHY?????? OH MY GOD どして???

—-another edit—–

You know. He wasn’t even hurt because she was a bad person. It was just some unfortunate happening that drove them apart. How do you compete with that? You know the love’s still there, and always will be. Would you still try?

Sometimes I wonder if I would actually be happier if life were different. Scratch that–I can’t be ‘happier’ if I’m not happy. I wonder if I could actually be less sad, if life were different.

You know, the night my father died my mother didn’t call the cops right away. She had us lay in the room with my father’s corpse, on another bed, until morning. And then she just shut down. All night we slept there, I felt nothing, I was practically numb. Through the funeral, I cried because I couldn’t help it. I would be just standing there and tears would just start falling and I would have no clue until they couldn’t be stopped even if they were realized. I was so mad at my Mother. Why couldn’t she toughen up? Why was she sobbing and yelling and screaming and fainting and falling all over the place? When all I could do was stand there. And not feel.

My father spoiled me. He gave me all this love and care and attention that I didn’t really deserve. And now that he’s gone, I have this emptiness in me where his love and attention used to be. His nods and smiles, and drives to dance practice early in the morning and drives home from performances late at night. Who is to fill those spaces? So far I’ve been filling them myself. I can drive myself to practice and from performances. But I can never seem to nod and smile at myself. I think Father accepted me for the person that I’ll never be satisfied with being, that sometimes I hate being, even. He accepted it all. I can’t get over it. On nights, random nights, like these, I miss him so much I almost go insane.

It’ll be three years this August. So long ago, and yet just yesterday. These sobs will clear by the morning and I might not even remember why my eyes are puffed, but a few weeks from now it will happen again. And a few months from then, once again. Sporadically I will have the urge to throw myself off something or…do something else…but I’ll be too scared and ashamed. And I’ll break down. But I’ll get over it. And then again. And again. And again. About three years ago I thought I would be suffering all the time. But who knew that in actuality, no, I’ll be OK for times at a time, and then I’ll remember, and I’ll fall a little bit apart, and I’ll comfort myself enough to leave the house the next morning and, you know, this actually hurts more. If I were a constant unhappy, that would just be that. I would just be unhappy. But this, being able to feel a tad of contentment, and then remember that no, I’m not that OK, that sadness hits harder, like this. Like now.

I can’t watch Kiem Hiep series. I shouldn’t be allowed to watch them. Because every time I watch them, my mind goes on insane adventures for days. Imaginary adventures that make me wish I were born centuries ago, when chivalry was rare but at least existent–when although life was short, at least it was full.

Of course my mind is insane even when I’m normal, and so the century I want to return to is that of the storybooks. I ignore the fact that in those times people didn’t bathe everyday and along with that I ignore the fact that if I go two days without bathing I get a little crazy.

Maybe my mind just feeds on my always existent, no matter how low it lays, wish to be away from here. This place, these people. This time. And when I watch a Kiem Hiep series or something, my mind latches on to that time, because it fulfills my desire to be away. Away to when life was simple. When people were expected to leave their homes and go on adventures. Instead of being locked in their rooms because it’s dangerous outside.

Ah, now I’m just ranting. I know, I have been terrible at keeping this blog updated. In the next few days you’ll see random picture posts as I once again attempt to catch up, and then maybe something substantial. Maybe at a more reasonable time I might go back and make this post better and more understandable, even, but don’t count on it.

Chya! I’m off to waste a few more hours of my night laying in bed in the dark dreaming up a romance that wouldn’t exist even in the movies. Intrigued?