Dependent people…   Leave a comment

On the morning of Holy Thursday, I woke up to find an email message that read like this:

Subject: hey…umhhh
Content: Hi Nhu-Y,

Sorry I couldn’t call you to ask you this in person cuz I don’t really know your schedule… umhh.. do you have 200 bucks I can borrow, please? by.. like.. today? it’s an emergency. well, I can give you some kind of collateral if you want :

thank you very much. please beep me back when you got this. ty ty ty

Martha An Nguyen

Ok…my problems with this…??:

1. She had actually called me earlier in the week to ask if I was going to a tinh tam at church. My schedule is exactly the same every day whether I’m at school that day or work, and she knows it. There’s no reason why she couldn’t’ve called me.

2. 200 bucks…? 200 BUCKS??

3. BY TODAY? Who the hell asks for money and wants it THE DAY OF? HONESTLY??

4. “it’s an emergency”…what IS the emergency? I’m sorry but…if you’re going to ask for 200 BUCKS, just saying that it’s an emergency is not going to cut it. Did she crash her car again? Does she need bail money?? What? What is so bad of an emergency that she couldn’t ask her parents for money and had to come to me?

5. “beep me back” OMG I don’t know WHAT it is about that phrase that just GOT to me. BEEP ME BACK?

When I read the email the 5th time (out of disbelief)…I thought…she probably doesn’t need the money that badly because who, in their right minds, needed money badly and would send an email like that?? If I needed 200 Bucks…I woulda begged, pleaded, given 10 reasons, I woulda called and left a voicemail…10 voicemails! I WOULN’T’VE left an email message explaining nothing.

Now first off, if I had the money to spare, I would’ve given it to her. Second off…even if I didn’t have the money to spare, if the email was any better and if it weren’t HER, I probably would’ve given the money.

This girl…OK…here’s the difference between me and her…

1. She came to the states just a few years ago and her parents have already bought a huge house…I don’t know how…they just have…/I still live in an apartment building infested with roaches even though I’ve been in the states for over 10 years.

2. Her parents bought her a brand new car from 2008…and then when she crashed it they offered to buy her another new car/My car is from 1997 and I constantly worry about its health.

3. She has both parents taking care of her/I have 1.

4. She doesn’t work/I WORK by ass off!

5. She doesn’t have to pay for her brother’s living expenses/I do.

I mean…My clothes, Otouto’s clothes…my school supplies…Otouto’s school supplies…I pay for all of that. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t do the same for her brother. Her parents spoil her silly! She took a whole freakin semester off of school to “think” about life. I, out of anyone, understand an existential crisis, trust me, but did I take a semester off school when I should have…? NOPE! Not only did she just not go to school that semester, she didn’t work either. She said she was waiting for another office job, the last office job she got was through school. She has no real work experience and yet she thinks she’s qualified for an office job! I took a job petsitting for like…$30 a day! Why…? Because it paid! She has the freedom to move out of her house whenever she feels like it…I don’t! I have responsibilities! She doesn’t! Who the HELL does she think she is to just ask me for $200??? She always acts like she is more mature, more grown up. She always acts like she’s the better person but honestly…who DOES this???

Obviously, I didn’t give it to her. Then that night, she completely ignored me at mass. Before mass I was standing with the NS and usually she’d come over, this time nope. Then during the mass, usually during masses I have a habit of looking at the door (cute guys gather there for some reason…) and whenever I do she’s always looking at me and she gives me that look like she thinks I’m about to say something to her which is awkward because…I don’t…but that night? She looked completely ahead, didn’t glance at me one bit.

Then today she texts me and asks if I want to go to the circus because she has extra tickets. I replied kindly but only because…I didn’t have her number saved in my phone.

Now…if she…worked…was responsible and intelligent…and for some reason just ran into a huge problem and needed my help…then fine, I would have helped. But she didn’t even work. She does nothing to help herself so why should I help her? I’m not here to baby people! I’m not saying that people who depend on their parents suck, but I am saying that at some point, people need to grow up. Once you’re over 18…heck younger even sometimes! I don’t care how lame you are, if you can’t take care of yourself, you’re not grown-up in my book. And I refuse to baby people like that.

I don’t mean to say that being grown-up means that you have to pay for everything on your own. But I mean…once you’ve reached a certain age, you should be able to make intelligent decisions. Even if you can’t pay for stuff on your own, don’t drag people down with you! Make rational decisions. Don’t put people in awkward, horrible decisions! Deciding that you want to move out because your parents got mad that YOU crashed your brand new car that you’ve been driving for less than a year shouldn’t be something to be proud of. That’s irresponsible. You should work, no matter what it is. You should accept responsibility because it’ll help you grow, especially if you’re not doing anything anyway!

I’m not trying to sound all high and mighty. Mother did pay for my cell phone and she pays for the bills and food and such, I know. But I take care of all the house paperwork, work, school, and everything else that I need. In other words…if Mother died tomorrow, that would suck…, but I wouldn’t be helpless. Argh! I don’t know. If you get it, you get it, if you don’t, you don’t.

Ok I have to stop, I can’t run out of ways that I disapprove of her so…rather just stop talking about it. All in all, I am very disappointed in her. I’ve always thought she was irresponsible, fake, and too dependent…a baby in other words, but this really pushed it.

I’m not rereading this because it’ll just get me angered up again so…screw you grammar mistakes.

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Posted April 16, 2009 by .unpaused. in Life, Musings

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