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Soooooooooo………………..Awhile ago A.P. called me and told me that after VL and FSM did those performances for the 3PriestsOrdinationReception, C.V. wanted to reward us with an “event,” ie. dinner, going to the movies, or something like that. After a bit of planning, A.P. and I concluded that a dinner/party would be sufficient. I didn’t think going to the movies would be good because it’d be too hard to satisfy each group (boys, girls, parents, and C.V.). Going to Kings Dominion would be OK but A.P. was worried that C.V. would get tired, and I had a feeling that once again, people would split up. So we concluded that a dinner/party at A.P.’s house would be good. So he tells me that he’ll talk to C.V. about it. A.P. also said that after the Companions (NS) did that St.Paul skit thing, C.V. had suggested something like this already, but A.P. was slow at making it happen. So he decided that he would mesh everything together. Make the dinner/party/whatever into an appreciation party for NS, VL, FSM as well as a big kick off to get the kids excited about coming back to TN. I had a feeling he would do that, but whatever. I thought it was inappropriate to mesh a party with another party, especially since FSM and VL do a lot more than the other NS, but then again, it wasn’t my money or my place to ask for two separate parties, so whatever, I just let him do what he wanted.

Last week at practice I find out through some of the dancers that A.P. had sent out an email inviting all of NS to a lunch at some restaurant in Eden. Now, I don’t expect to be invited to a NS event because, I’m not a HT in NS. In terms of NS, the only connection I have with them is that I’m a dancer in VL. So I thought that maybe A.P. did decide to make two separate “appreciation” parties and that the one at the restaurant was for thanking the NS only. So I was like, OK makes sense I wasn’t invited. So on Monday I’m getting kinda nervous because the NS Lunch thing reminded me that he hadn’t said anything about the FSM/VL party thing. So I call him and ask him about the Lunch. And he says that yes, the Lunch thing IS the party thing he was talking to me about on the phone awhile ago. So….

He planned the Appreciation Lunch and did not include me.

He claimed that he didn’t have my email address, which is absurd since I know we’ve emailed each other before. Or OK, he doesn’t have my email address, VL has our own email address group, which he is a part of, so why didn’t he send an invite to that address? So basically he said that he wanted to invite all the kids first and then HT later, but thing is, I don’t participate as a HT. I’m not a HT in NS, I’m a dancer in VL, that’s my position. So if this is an appreciation lunch for VL, why didn’t he invite all the VL dancers? And then whoever else he wants, later? So whatever, he went on and on about how he thinks I should be there (ya think??). Then he says that if I do go, I should bring my Mother. Which means that…Otouto is invited as a NS, and he’s supposed to bring a parent. Telling ME to bring Mother means that A.P. didn’t think Otouto would bring Mother. Which leads me to conclude that he might’ve thought that hopefully Otouto would bring ME as his “parent,” therefore making me be there not as a dancer, not as a HT, but as a parent, which is different completely!

So later that day I’m ranting to Otouto, and as I’m ranting I realize something else….

Mai, Hien, and Ceci are also part of VL. They’ve been participating in all our big performances since earlier this year. But…they weren’t invited to the lunch. What kind of appreciation lunch is this? An appreciation lunch to thank VL, but only half the VL dancers were invited?

So I called A.P. up and I was like…wtf? And he tells me that if he invites Mai, Hien, and Ceci, then he would have to ask their Nghanh Truong if the girls can come. And I go…No…you wouldn’t…because this is not a lunch for ALL TN performers…this is a lunch for NS, FSM, and VL. Mai, Hien, and Ceci would come as members of VL, not as people from Nghanh Thieu. So whatever whatever whatever. He didn’t get it. He tells me that what he was going to do was he was GOING TO do something else for Mai, Hien, and Ceci. And I’m like “O? What were you going to do for them?” And he goes “I don’t know.” Of course I didn’t believe him, he was spewing crap outta his mouth. He wasn’t going to do jackshit for Mai, Hien, and Ceci and I knew it. So I’m like, ” How do you think Mai, Hien, and Ceci are going to feel, when they worked just ask hard and practiced just as much as the other girls and yet the other girls were invited to an appreciation lunch when they weren’t??!!” So at this point I was getting really pissed.

So then I brought up again the issue of him NOT emailing me an invite. Now, as I said before, if this was a lunch just for NS, I would not want to come. I’d maybe come as a chaparone for Otouto, because that’s what I always do, but otherwise, I wouldn’t come. Because I’m not in NS, nor am I a HT in NS. But, this was not only a lunch for NS, it was also a lunch for VL, and NOT all VL-ers are in NS! So A.P. should have invited the NS (and easliy FSM is made up of all NS so there’s nothing big there) and then invited all the VL dancers.

Anyway, A.P. goes on and on about how he didn’t have my email, or it was too hard to remember, his was easy to remember, whereas mine was all weird and he couldn’t remember it, and I’m like BULL! I mean, OK fine, he doesn’t have my email address, but wouldn’t one of the other girls have it? He could’ve asked that someone, anyone, forward the invite to me (just earlier that day he’d sent out a completely unrelated email and asked that I be forward, at which Tina forwarded it to me). Or, Otouto! Otouto would have my email address. Heck, I wouldn’t’ve minded if A.P. had just said “Insert Otouto’s Real Name Here, tell your sister.” That would’ve been fine with me! What I’m pissed at is that he didn’t include me AT ALL! So what the FUCK am I in the dance group? Do I just happen to be there all the time? I just happen to dance? I just happen to act as the chaparone when he can’t come? I’m just kinda there because I’m a stupid idiot who has nothing better to do? Like O…I don’t know…I’m so clueless that I just prefer to put up with him and other HT and the girls (when they’re pissy, at other times they are relatively good company) because I’d rather do that then say…practice my violin so I can join a real orchestra? Practice Wushu so I can actually go back to the Wushu School? Hang out with Dolores or Reed??

Anyway, I know better than to expect any appreciation from anyone at church, but to purposely exclude me is a little much, don’t you think? So anyway, he claims that he just forgot, and that it wasn’t intentional. But today while I was talking to Keets, I realize that it’s always the same people that he accidently “forgets.” Always, the same people!

And then he has the nerve to go on and say that he was going to send an email to the HT emailing group and ask HT to come, and specify that I’m a big, key part of VL and all that shit. And I literally said “I don’t believe you! It’s easy for you to say that now, but I don’t believe you were actually GOING TO do it!” And of course that gets him all pissed off. And then, he goes on to say that at the actual lunch he was going to spotlight me and tell C.V. and tell A.Pg about what a key person I am and how much I do, and I’m like FUCK THAT! You would think that if he was actually going to do all this, you would think that he would let the person he was planning to “spotlight” KNOW that there was even a lunch happening!!

It’s like he’s always the LAST person to act! After I called Catherine up and bitched at her that one time, THEN he said that he was GOING TO talk to her but I did it first. He was GOING TO send out an email to me, he was GOING TO spotlight, but of course I get to it first, don’t I? It’s so easy for him to make me feel bad, he was a really good way of doing that!

So anyway, I told him that I didn’t need him to tell C.V. and A.Pg shit, because I honestly don’t give a crap. So to end it all I just asked him once and for all whether or not he was going to invite Mai, Hien, and Ceci, because that was the main reason I called him in the first place, it sorta just exploded into everything else. And he said that, “well, now after you explained it to me…I’ll invite them.” So then he sent out an email to the VL group address and asked for Mai, Hien, and Ceci’s contact info, which I gave him.

But honestly, that day that he has the luncheon planned, is the day of the Lasan testing. So at 1, Otouto and I have to be at the Lasan place, which means we’ll have to leave at around 12:30. He says Lunch is at 11AM, but you know, there are SO many freakin people involved, we won’t actually sit down to order until 12, 11:30 at the earliest.

Before we hung up he said that even if I didn’t believe him and all that shit, what he was planning to do won’t change. So now, he’ll kinda HAVE to send out an email thanking me and he’ll HAVE to spotlight me at the Lunch. Because if he doesn’t, he’ll have lied straight out. And if he does, it’s because he said he would, how am I to know that he actually planned to do it? And I don’t plan on giving him benefit of the doubt because this happens all the damn time!

And, he also said that everytime he thanked the dance group before, he always emailed it to me too. But DUH! Obviously, because if he ever did leave me out, how the hell would I know? It wasn’t emailed to me. And the girls and Otouto never tell me anything! And, the times he emailed out thanks and emailed it to me too, that was because he emailed it through the dance group’s address, so it automatically goes to me too. Was that so hard?

Anyway, Keets doesn’t think he probably purposely left me out, and it’s just because it’s the way he is. Which I agree. It’s just the way he is. He favors boys, because he’s a boy. No Lie. DHNS in 2005. The play we did featured ONLY boys. The only girl part in there was that of prostitutes (which he called just called “dancers) who’s purpose was to act as temptation for the main character. The girls refused to do it so he had a boy do that part too. DNH the other year. He sent out an email thanking D.H. and someone else for helping him drive the kids to and from practice, but left out T, T.A., who also helped drive kids at times, and Me, who choreographed/taught the whole goddamn thing! In that email, he thanked NS, and not VL, so the thanking did not include me. So I had to send out an email thanking T. and T.A., but left myself out because, duh. And of course later he goes “O…yea…” O fuckin yea is fuckin right! He plans trips to amusement parks and shit for the Lion Dance team and FSM, but doesn’t ask the girls if they want to go anywhere. Of course, after our over two years of being in the group, we ourselves had to plan our own little outing to the movies, which he LATER paid for. Of course, he always has an excuse for it. He’s a boy, and it’d be inappropriate for him to hang out with the girls. So fine, take the boys to KD and go with them because he’s a boy. Then ask the girls if they also want to go to KD and plan for a girl HT (Hey! I’m a girl! I’m a HT!) to take them. Shit, between me, T, and maybe even T.A., I think we can handle the girls. Or, if he doesn’t trust that we can, ask the girls if they want to go to the waterpark. Or…anything! He only took action AFTER we planned an outing ourselves! Is he that clueless???

I sent him an apology text later that night. I realize that amongst the HT, he’s the one who supports VL most financially. So to make sure that VL still gets support later on in life, I’m going to have to put up with him no matter how much he fuckin pisses me off.

I wonder though if I should even go to that lunch. I mean, like I said, Otouto and I have to be somewhere else by 1PM. But then again, I guess if I were to be…diplomatic about this…heh…I’d show up to represent VL, and to show that we, or I, because the girls never seem to get involved in my duelings with A.P., I’m kinda always on my own in that, they only make “O…What that sucks…That’s not fair…” comments AFTER I’ve solved it. It kinda sucks when I’m the only one who has to deal with the unfairness. I mean, fine I’m the captain and that’s my job but, sometimes it seems that all I ever do, or all I’m ever useful for! Anyway, sorry that was a random tangent…What was I saying…? O yea…I’d show up to show that I can get over shit like his messings up, no matter how many times he does it. And we do need money…and it is a free lunch. O well, I guess I might as well start being diplomatic now, for practice later on.

But still, he freakin pisses me off! Whatever.

ARGHHH!!! I hate TN! Bejeezuz lord fuckin nows that if I didn’t love dancing and if I didn’t like the girls enough, I’d have quit a long ass time ago. I gotta stop doing things for other people man, fuckin messes up my head.

Whatever, I guess the fact is I’ll just have to put up with it and deal with. I won’t be happy about it but have I ever been? Nope.

::sighs:: I just needed to rant.



Posted August 4, 2009 by .unpaused. in Life

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