do it now. you don't have tomorrow & you don't have y/e/s/t/e/r/d/a/y. do it now.   Leave a comment

OK, so, this one day I went to…I don’t know why my font is all weird but OK….

I went to CVS and this neighbor was sitting outside the store. She calls me over and I talk to her for a little bit and she asks me for $2. So of course, $2, I would gladly give it to her. But then I realize that she hadn’t said $2….she said and asked for $20! Which is a lot more than $2. And by that time I’d already opened my purse and you could see my money and I did have a $20 so…I gave it to her. Then she wasted about 10 more minutes while talking to me about how she loved my dad and how she’d watch him drive around in his scooter in the mornings and I’m just like…OK…OK….OK….now she’d said that she need that money for medicine…so the whole time I’m thinking…::Why are you still talking…shouldn’t you be getting your medicine then?::, but I didn’t say anything out loud.

Then, a few days later, Otouto comes home from intern-ing, I guess it was, and she stops him and asks him if I was home. Of course I was. But Otouto, because he is a genius, tells her that he wasn’t sure and that he’d check, and that if no one came down in 5 minutes, it meant I wasn’t home. So of course he comes up and tells me this and I refuse to go downstairs because I knew she just wanted to ask for more money.

So then, Saturday night, Mother is making her eggrolls in the living room and I’m in my room and allofasudden Otouto runs in and goes “She’s here! The fat lady’s here!” And of course it takes me awhile to process, but then I start to freak out. WTF does she want? She can’t be trying to pay me back because even though when she borrowed the money she said she’d pay me back, I had told her not to worry about it, mainly because I didn’t want her giving it to me in front of Mother and then Mother getting pissed. But anyway, the lady just would not leave, so I go outside, open the door, and she beackons me out. This is the part in the horror movies where any sane person would yell at the main character for being an idiot because, get this, I stepped outside. I kept my grip on the door handle though, and I could see that Otouto was standing there. So then…the lady asks me for money again. Another $20. I tell her I don’t have anything. And I thought that was that. But no, she goes “Well, do you think your mom might have some money?” And so I go back in to ask and immediately Mother goes “NO!” So I go back out to tell the lady. And I guess she asks again if I had any and I go “No, I haven’t gone to the bank yet.” And so she goes…”Well, do you think you’ll have it tomorrow?” And I go…”Um…I’m not sure, depends on if I go to the bank.” And so she goes, “Well, just come see me if you do have it.”

THEN! No…we’re not done yet….

A few days later I rush into the building and was too scared to run past her apartment so I shoot straight for the elevator. As I’m waiting for the elevator, she jumps out of her house and goes “BOO!” I’m not even freakin kidding! And so I jump and the elevator comes and she goes in with me and some other dude. So she goes “So have you thought about it?” And I’m just like…”About what…?” And then I realize, O about the money! And so I go…”Yea but I don’t have any cash. I honestly only have about $30 in the bank right now.” Which was true. So then she goes “Girl, what am I going to do with you?” But I guess in a “playful” tone? Then, get this, she grabs my arm, pulls me to her and attemps to hit my butt! I KNOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! We weren’t the only people in the elevator either, there were like, one or two other guys and they just kinda looked awkward. Then she asks me if she could borrow $10, and I had to repeat that I didn’t have any cash on me at all. So we get to my floor and she steps out with me and she goes “What am I gonna do with you?” And I go “IDK, pray that my boss pays me soon?” I don’t know how I managed to keep a playful tone because I was freaking out so much inside!

So by this time I’m like…OMG do I owe her money or something? Did I borrow hundreds of dollars from her and not remember? Because she’s acting like a loan shark and I’m the person who loaned money from her. Except that she’s not a loan shark, I didn’t loan any money from her, and in actuality it’s her borrowing money from me!

Anyway, one day Reed comes to play games at my house. And I tell him. So he plans with me that we were going to go down to her apartment to end it once and for all. He gives me…$20? I think, and I have my $10, and we go down there once or twice, maybe three times but no one ever opens the door. It was kind of funny because we told Otouto that if we didn’t come back in two minutes, he was to come down and say that I had a phone call or something. So he kept running down after us and hiding at the end of the hallway to wait for my signaling him to come save us, but she was never there. Then, the last time we did it as Otouto and I were walking Reed out. This time I was completely unprepared but she turned out to be home. So I nervously told her that this was all the money I had and I won’t be able to give her anymore for awhile. I wasn’t supposed to give a time frame but I did because I was nervous and I forgot. Then she said she’d pay me back and all that. But of course that hasn’t happened and I don’t care.

It was kind of funny because, she’d been after me for money like I owed her money or something. A random person looking in would have thought that I’d borrowed money from a loan shark and she was collecting, but in reality it was her asking me to let her borrow money! Then the night I came down to give her $30, which is more than she asks for, as an action to end it all, I’m standing there at the door with two big, tall guys, like a loan shark coming by to ask for their money back! A random person looking in then would have thought I was a loan shark demanding my money back but in actuality I came down to give her money!

How twisted is that????

But ever since then she hasn’t asked for any money. She hasn’t paid back the $30 either but I don’t care.

Although, the other day a few weeks ago, months maybe, she did ask if I could drive her somewhere but I said that Mother needed me to stay home because someone was coming over to pick something up, so I didn’t drive her.

IDK Why I was afraid of her. I didn’t owe her anything. I’m not a genuinely nice person. Who knows, maybe I’m just selling myself short but, I think I gave her money and I was afraid of her because I thought that if I didn’t give her money, she’d die or something! And it’d be my fault! One day Otouto came and told me that when he walked by her apartment she was sitting on the floor and was surrounded by cops. So I was like “OMG WHAT IF SHE DIES HER GHOST WILL HAUNT ME!!!”

Geezuz I’m such a spazz.

Haha….but anyway…the experience made me realize even more how much I dislike needy people. I’m kind of strict and critical and kind of mean when it comes to independence. I probably mentioned this before, but I was forced to grow up extremely early. So part of me still wants to be a child, part of me thinks that you should be a kid for as long as possible. Then the other part wants to grow up, the other part feels that at a certain age, you just have to take responsibility for your actions and your life and your choices, and man, or woman, up! That’s why I dislike it when Mother tells me that I should teach Otouto how to do the bills. Why? Why should I teach him? He’s only in high school. I haven’t died. I’m not sick. I’m not going to disappear. I learned it because I was forced to, and although I’m good with it and all, I still wish sometimes that I didn’t have to do it. So why force Otouto to do the bills when he doesn’t need to? He’s still a teen. Let him do teen things. I willingly take on a lot of responsibility so that Otouto doesn’t have to, because he shouldn’t have to. Now, once he gets to say…19…20…21 maybe…We baby him a little too much….but once he gets to that age, I expect that he will learn how to take care of himself. I’ll force him to do bills then. I’ll make him cook then. Because at that age and after, you’re not a child anymore. Yes, be carefree, be nonchalant, be happy and cheerful. But be all that while being grown up. Be carefree, be nonchalant, be happy, be cheerful AS WELL AS intelligent and wise and understanding and responsible. I expect at least that much out of people. So I get really annoyed when people aren’t like that. And as a relatively grown up person, if I do say so myself, I put up with it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t piss me off.

So anyway, I guess my main point was, I kind of know how people who take loans from loan sharks feel, at least a little bit. And, grow up!


This is kind of a musing…right?


Posted August 19, 2009 by .unpaused. in Life, Musings

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