Archive for the ‘Quickie’ Category

I know….   Leave a comment

Your Bookmarks are probably filled with blog addresses of mine. But I’ve moved, again! : )

I finally settled on Blogspot. The layouts aren’t automatically lovely but I can make them work. My Tumblr address is also now

Same things. Just new address. 🙂 See you there!


Posted July 5, 2010 by .unpaused. in Life, Quickie

người là ước mơ thôi–đã có yêu đương em cho nên không cần những xa xôi   Leave a comment

người là ước mơ thôi
thức giấc bên em trên ngôi đôi ta nhìn nhau không nói
-em là tất cả

Not that I have been keeping up regularly with this blog, but for sure I will be MIA for the next few days, weeks. I have a Studies paper due two Thursdays ago, another Studies paper due this Thursday, and a Term Research Paper for Art and Society also due this Thursday…none of which I have begun. Along with that, all the Japanese studying and what not. Then Friday and Saturday I get to relax a bit and clean up the place, then Sunday, big things happen! 🙂 Now off to bed. Have to get some rest before my attempts to pull the aforementioned papers out of my…well, you know what.

Good night!

Posted June 29, 2010 by .unpaused. in Life, Quickie

nụ hôn bước vào tình–sẽ thấy quanh đây thênh thang êm vui bao tháng ngày dai   Leave a comment

với những si mê khôn nguôi như buông vào tim.
trong đáy tim…anh yêu em
-em là tất cả

Sunset in Izumi-City.


Posted June 29, 2010 by .unpaused. in Life, Picture-ed, Quickie

ngày em bước vào đời–có tiếng chim ca hân hoan trên khung trời xanh tuyệt vời   Leave a comment

với những ngôi sao trên cao lung linh về đêm
như nói lên em vừa yêu
-em là tất cả

A trip to Ninja Village and then to Raccoon Village with the International Center.


I can never capture rain very well.


I began the painting with just the house. Then I drew in all the land and sea with swirls. But you know me, I love to paint! So I just filled everything in. Haha. Couldn’t help it.

Wanna see something cool??



Posted June 29, 2010 by .unpaused. in Life, Picture-ed, Quickie

người là ước mơ thôi–mãi mãi trong cơn say mê nên mong người mãi bên tôi   Leave a comment

người là ước mơ thôi
chớ đắn đo hay âu lo nhân gian đổi thay vì có tôi đây
-em là tất cả

I am in the process of looking for a new home. A new home for my writing, that is. As you all might’ve heard before, I absolutely abhor all of the themes available for WordPress, they don’t fit me at all. I contemplated long and hard about going back to Blogger, multiple times, but always stuck it through. Well, now a lot of the WordPress themes aren’t allowing me to space my pictures correctly, which might seem like a relatively unimportant issue but, to me it matters. I’ve already made a Blogger and exported everything from here to there, but there’s just something about Blogger. I’m not completely happy with it. My favorite place to blog nowadays is Tumblr, but I’m wary about the size of my posts and the html functionality (or lack thereof). Anyway, this was just a brief update. Stay tuned. As I’ve said, I’m supposed to be working on my term papers right now (it’s due on Thursday! AH!) and so…dammit I just messed up my nails….And so, if all goes well I’ll be able to take my mind off blogging and write my papers, and therefore a decision won’t be made until the next week or so. But just a heads up! Man I really messed up my nails. MAN!

Posted June 29, 2010 by .unpaused. in Life, Quickie

i raise my hand as if to show you that i was yours   2 comments

that i was so yours for the taking
i’m so yours for the taking and
that’s when i felt the wind pick up
i grab the rail while choking up
these words to say and then you kissed me
i knew it from the start
— 18th floor balcony

Is it just me, or do the Pokemon get uglier by the region?……..Yea Nhu-Y, that’s not at all a nerdy ass question. I mean….take Shiftry for example. That is one ugly ass Pokemon. I mean, even the ghost type Pokemon from the first seasons, Haunter and Ghastly, they were cute! Shiftry is just ugly! And kinda scary! Plusle and Minun are kind cute though, but only because they look like bigger versions of Pichu.

You know what is another indication of my insanity? The fact that I have been obsessed with a singer for the past few days. Like, he’s cute, truth be told. But he’s not like….Daniel Henney (OMG DANIEL HENNEY!), he’s just this kinda cute guy who plays piano and guitar and sings. So I spent the weekend (when I wasn’t running around Ninja Village) playing his performances on Youtube. And it wasn’t like I sat there in front of the screen and watched him. Most of the time I was doing other things or walking around my room or had another window open over the Youtube window. So it’s not like he’s gorgeous or whatever, it depends. I don’t so much like his still photos, I like his performances. And, his story tugs at me. Have you ever met a person who’s been so broken you just want to fix them? It’s the ego in me talking. Like, really? YOU want to FIX somebody? Have you looked at yourself lately?

I am probably one of the most effed up screwed up most unstable person I know. And will ever know. And there I go wanting to fix a broken heart.

Maybe I don’t even need to fix it. Because dudes…..he is fine. Like, he is CUTEEEEEE and talented, I’m sure there have been plenty of girls after the one who messed him up, that have tried to help him. I’m sure he doesn’t need help! But you know, I can’t help the calling. HA! I kinda just wanna fly over to California and stalk him ’till I meet him, and then be friends with him and then be like, I’m cool. Lean on me. Yea. Like, we don’t even have to be lovers, just be my friend, I’ll show you how cool people are.

I hate Youtube. HAHA! It showed me that a video “related” to the one of him performing was one of him being interviewed by Kristine Sa on her Heart2Heart show. And I thought, Oh I’ll watch this and I’ll realize how perfect he is not and I won’t be so obsessed. Well. I realized how perfect he is not. And now I want to transport myself to California and assure him that it’s all OK. Like. Wtf?

God, I really am kinda screwey.

This has been one crazy post. I’m sorry normal people who are reading this. Haha, I’m rereading this and laughing to myself. It’s not substantial enough to calm me down, I’ll probably make up stories about him in my mind for nights to come but, at least it’s all out there. I’M CRAZY. There. Said and done.


He’s on FB. I want to add him. BUT WHY? WHY?????? OH MY GOD どして???

—-another edit—–

You know. He wasn’t even hurt because she was a bad person. It was just some unfortunate happening that drove them apart. How do you compete with that? You know the love’s still there, and always will be. Would you still try?

Posted June 24, 2010 by .unpaused. in Life, Musings, Quickie

  Leave a comment

Sometimes I wonder if I would actually be happier if life were different. Scratch that–I can’t be ‘happier’ if I’m not happy. I wonder if I could actually be less sad, if life were different.

You know, the night my father died my mother didn’t call the cops right away. She had us lay in the room with my father’s corpse, on another bed, until morning. And then she just shut down. All night we slept there, I felt nothing, I was practically numb. Through the funeral, I cried because I couldn’t help it. I would be just standing there and tears would just start falling and I would have no clue until they couldn’t be stopped even if they were realized. I was so mad at my Mother. Why couldn’t she toughen up? Why was she sobbing and yelling and screaming and fainting and falling all over the place? When all I could do was stand there. And not feel.

My father spoiled me. He gave me all this love and care and attention that I didn’t really deserve. And now that he’s gone, I have this emptiness in me where his love and attention used to be. His nods and smiles, and drives to dance practice early in the morning and drives home from performances late at night. Who is to fill those spaces? So far I’ve been filling them myself. I can drive myself to practice and from performances. But I can never seem to nod and smile at myself. I think Father accepted me for the person that I’ll never be satisfied with being, that sometimes I hate being, even. He accepted it all. I can’t get over it. On nights, random nights, like these, I miss him so much I almost go insane.

It’ll be three years this August. So long ago, and yet just yesterday. These sobs will clear by the morning and I might not even remember why my eyes are puffed, but a few weeks from now it will happen again. And a few months from then, once again. Sporadically I will have the urge to throw myself off something or…do something else…but I’ll be too scared and ashamed. And I’ll break down. But I’ll get over it. And then again. And again. And again. About three years ago I thought I would be suffering all the time. But who knew that in actuality, no, I’ll be OK for times at a time, and then I’ll remember, and I’ll fall a little bit apart, and I’ll comfort myself enough to leave the house the next morning and, you know, this actually hurts more. If I were a constant unhappy, that would just be that. I would just be unhappy. But this, being able to feel a tad of contentment, and then remember that no, I’m not that OK, that sadness hits harder, like this. Like now.

Posted June 20, 2010 by .unpaused. in Life, Musings, Quickie